Litany

by Meg Mechelke
Visual by Cheyenne Mann

Onscreen scream queen ice cream I scream into my pillow at night I get myself off with a pink
silicone vibrator looks like lipstick knows me best and I can’t control the fact that everything is
spinning and I want to hold my mother’s hand and dive in fast the deep end it won’t hurt 
wet things cheeks I can’t swim I cry at night when I think about stars and I eat ice cream
when my acne’s bad when my body’s bad when I’m tired I sleep in my dreams I fall
off a cliff I jump I make lists who would help me cover up a murder I scream
when you rat me out I scream inside everyday my pillow I scream I get
myself off and I cry and I write bad poetry and I don’t smoke but I sit in
the chair and let her carve away my skin with needles and I love the
pop the pain I fade away I dream of you and sidewalks and if the
world was flat I’d fall off the edge and if I had a lighter I’d douse
myself in kerosene and set myself on fire and watch for the
aesthetic paint myself in the mirror my skin peels away like
worms on the floor white tile till I reach my goal weight
my bones ache turn to dust bleach my hair with the
ashes kiss you in the rain and play punk rock at
the funeral a house band of ghosts and a wreath
of white lilies my mother buys my mother cries
and everything is wet and I am here I scream
I                   am                    here