Night Out

by John Paul Cacioppo
Photo by Mary Grevas

How To Break Me
Never let your fingers linger on mine
Look like you’re keeping a secret
Never text to see if I’m home, safe
give me piss-poor coffee
Start saying “love ya” when I walk out the door
and make me your enemy in the process
Feel obligated to keep up appearances
Whisper your hate, so only I hear
and make me believe you
Don’t trust me anymore
Never look to me for comfort
but be sure you smile, imagine me dead,
remember I treat you like the help
and realize how little I care about you
Ask why we’re still doing this
remember you can fuck whoever you want
Question my every motive
run, lie, push me out
leave

Our Marriage Agreement
Never let your fingers linger on mine
Look like you’re keeping a secret
Never text to see if I’m home, safe
give me piss-poor coffee
Start saying “love ya” when I walk out the door
and make me your enemy in the process
Feel obligated to keep up appearances
Whisper your hate, so only I hear
and make me believe you
Don’t trust me anymore
Never look to me for comfort
but be sure you smile, imagine me dead,
remember I treat you like the help
and realize how little I care about you
remember you can fuck whoever you want
Question my every motive
run, lie, push me out

Party Etiquette
Never let your fingers linger on mine
Look like you’re keeping a secret
give me piss-poor coffee
Start saying “love ya” when I walk out the door
and make me your enemy in the process
Feel obligated to keep up appearances
Whisper your hate, so only I hear
and make me believe you
Don’t trust me anymore
Never look to me for comfort
but be sure you smile, imagine me dead,
remember I treat you like the help 
and realize how little I care about you
remember you can fuck whoever you want
Question my every motive

I Just Told You That I Knew About the Cancer This Whole Time
Never let your fingers linger on mine
Look like you’re keeping a secret
give me piss-poor coffee
and make me your enemy in the process
Feel obligated to keep up appearances
Whisper your hate, so only I hear
and make me believe you
Don’t trust me anymore
Never look to me for comfort
but be sure you smile, imagine me dead,
remember I treat you like the help
and realize how little I care about you
Question my every motive

You Just Learned I Jacked Off in the Jack O’lantern
Never let your fingers linger on mine
Look like you’re keeping a secret
give me piss-poor coffee
and make me your enemy in the process
Feel obligated to keep up appearances
Whisper your hate, so only I hear
and make me believe you
Don’t trust me anymore
remember I treat you like the help
and realize how little I care about you
Question my every motive

I Just Threw Up on You in the Middle of Sex
Look like you’re keeping a secret
and make me your enemy in the process
Feel obligated to keep up appearances
Whisper your hate, so only I hear
and make me believe you
Don’t trust me anymore
remember I treat you like the help
and realize how little I care about you
Question my every motive

I Was Really Hammered Last Night
Look like you’re keeping a secret
Feel obligated to keep up appearances
and make me believe you
Don’t trust me anymore
remember I treat you like the help
and realize how little I care about you
Question my every motive

I Just Asked You If You Still Liked Me
Feel obligated to keep up appearances
and make me believe you
Don’t trust me anymore
remember I treat you like the help
Question my every motive

Cheating On You Has Been a Decade Long Affair
Don’t trust me anymore
remember I treat you like the help
Question my every motive

What You Should Do When You Learn Everything I’ve Said Is a Lie
Question my every motive