Let’s Piss Off A Lot of Men: An Interview with Cara Connors
by Bailey Gabrielle
Cara Connors photographed by Andrew Levy
Cara Connors feels like people in Los Angeles think of her as a Midwestern hillbilly. Cara is embarrassed that she says every stereotypical Midwest saying like “Ope” and “Let me sneak right past ya.” The stand-up comedian’s vernacular is like a party-sized bag of Chex Mix made up of phrases from growing up in Chicago, studying psychology in New York and becoming a Canadian citizen. Today, Cara works the Los Angeles stand-up comedy circuit and stars in E!’s Dating #NoFilter. Her all-denim uniform screams Midwest lesbian chic, but her hillbilly aura lends more than just a fresh aesthetic to the wild, wild west coast. Her patchwork quilt of experiences has molded her into a genuine, down-to-earth comedian.
Offstage, Cara is as unfiltered as her social media, which is filled with plenty of dog content and denim-heavy outfits. This is where Cara posts videos of her impressions of reality TV show contestants and even Miss Trunchbull from Matilda. When I interviewed Cara on the phone, I felt like I was talking to someone I had known for years, like a cool aunt. Cara is passionate about representing queer people and the feminist perspective, which is clear in her latest project: Cara Takes Up Space.
“I wanted to do a very in-your-face feminist show,” Cara said. "Me and Courtney [Dobbins], the other executive producer, said from the beginning that our biggest thing is let’s piss off a lot of men.”
The show’s title comes from Cara’s mission to provide representation through work that reflects her experiences as a woman in the LGBTQ community. Cara said people who aren’t cisgender men are raised to not rock the boat or take up space. The “overtly feminist” show rebels against that.
“Any little series I’ve done, I’ve always put my own name in it. This is my show, these are my ideas,” Cara said. “For me, taking up space is being present, having something to say and representing different voices.”
In Cara Takes Up Space, Cara goes undercover to investigate double standards between men and women. The show tackles hot topics like condoms and female pleasure, unrealistic beauty standards, the Pink Tax, confidence in the workplace, parenting and more. The show is told through scripted vignettes based on Cara’s life, interviews with experts and undercover stunts where Cara applies what she learns.
“The joke of the show is interviewing an expert and drawing our own dumb conclusions,” Cara said. “We have a safety episode and I met with a shark expert and he taught me about predators. Then I go undercover at a matchmaking event and I treat all the men at the event as though they are predators.”
Another episode includes a focus group of confirmed non-condom users where Cara investigates double standards surrounding contraceptives. Cara poses as someone researching a new birth control product and asks the group how acceptable they found the side effects. She reads real female birth control side effects and the men say they would never take something with those side effects.
Cara Connors photographed by Andrew Levy
“Why is it that we’re okay with being like, okay ladies, you go and take this birth control that...makes you feel crazy, we’re not really sure what it does to your body, and go to the doctor and pay all this money for it and guys, well, we wouldn’t want your dick to not feel as sensitive for ten seconds,” Cara said. “Like, what the fuck? Is this a joke? And it’s not?”
Despite Cara’s natural detective abilities, her comedy roots lay in the stand-up world. She started her career in Toronto, which she argues is the biggest comedy city in Canada. Cara was getting her Master’s in Teaching—but was miserable. She took a stand-up class at Second City because she loved Saturday Night Live growing up.
“I had been searching for something that I actually cared about and that’s why I was in grad school,” Cara said. “I took this class and I became obsessed with it. I started going to a million open mics, started doing improv and it kinda spiraled from there.”
A large part of Cara’s individuality in comedy revolves around her identity as a lesbian. She said it makes her sad that people feel scared to come out. Cara’s advice for young members of the LGBTQ community is to listen to your body, find community, and be kind to yourself.
“Do what makes you happy and fuck the rest of the people,” Cara said.
Cara considered herself lucky to have had a good experience as a queer woman in comedy.
“I’ve been able to avoid some of the negative experiences by being pretty sure of myself,” Cara said. “I think some people in the comedy scene prey on other people’s insecurities and I’m like, get away from me! I only want to work with people who I think are great and funny."
Cara said the secret to her success is her obsession with her work. After she finishes her set, she immediately writes down new ideas and notes to herself before returning to the greenroom. The next day, she watches and critiques her set. She crafts her set everywhere—on show days, she admits to running her set in her head while she’s with other people.
In her short four-year career, she has produced and starred in two CBC online series, Cara Cooks and Every BLANK Ever, and been a part of CBC’s Laugh Out Loud, Sirius XM Top Comic, Just For Laughs Festival, Winnipeg Comedy Festival, and Toronto Sketchfest, among other festivals.
Cara is still as genuine and approachable on stage as she is off. She’s the woman who will stop you on the street to pet your dog and follow you on Instagram after.
“Every time I see someone out in public, it’s a lesbian meme,” Cara said. “I try to look for that lesbian nod and I’m like HEY! Gay lady? Cool!”
Cara said giving back is the best part of her job. When someone approaches her for a collaboration, she always agrees.
“Being able to...give somebody money to make comedy is the best feeling because it’s a steep mountain in the comedy world,” Cara said. “Some people are making a shit load of money and there’s everyone else like, at the bottom, scrounging around.”
She said she encourages people who are just starting out to try to collaborate with people they are fans of.
Photo courtesy: Cara Connors
“I’ve done that and been on shows of people I’m a huge fangirl of,” Cara said. “People are so nice and if they’re not, then say fuck you and go find somebody else. All they can do is say no and then you’re in the same place you started in.”
I asked Cara if she felt like she caught her big break when she booked Dating #NoFilter or when Cara Takes Up Space got picked up by OutTV. She said she’s just getting started.
“Moving out [to Los Angeles] is a step up, but you’re on a plateau for a bit as you re-establish yourself,” Cara said. “I’ve been re-motivated to really think about what the fuck am I trying to say?”
The Los Angeles plateau is a sharp contrast to the rolling plains of the Midwest and comforting comedy clubs of Toronto where Cara started her career. Even after catching a break, Cara remains humble, authentic and hungry to share her stop-for-no-man attitude. She dreams of having her own Netflix special or late night television show.
“I’m still very much in the beginning of [my career],” Cara said. “I don’t know that I’ve fully figured out balance yet, but I know I’m super motivated and I very much believe in everything I’m doing.”